OP didn’t mention the AGONIZING itch you get from the skin rubbing. Make sure to use some powder or some shit. Also it grows back in a week and takes so much time.
Just get a bidet.
Trick is to NOT trim it down to perfect clean shaven. Leave some small tiny little hairs. It won’t itch. Been doing that exact thing myself but I’m not willing to prove it.
YMMV if your crack hair is harder than mine.
And if you work out, the sweat just makes it all slidey back there ++ungood.
sure to use some powder or some shit
For the love of god, if your skin is irritated, do not use shit to try and fix it.
/s
Water people. Just fucking wash your ass, it’s hygienic and it feels nice too. Use a bidet, or just sit on the fucking bathroom sink (provided it’s installed on the floor, and not the wall). It’s amazing how poor ass hygine is for a nation that keeps going on about “eating ass”.
just sit on the fucking bathroom sink
Well now everyone at work is looking at me funny.
They said “bathroom” not “break room”.
Just flush and use the water from the toilet. After all it is a WC.
…, and it feels nice too.
The nation fears that it might feel nice.
I will get a bidet the day they invent one that sprays soapy water. Washing your ass without soap is like washing your hands without soap.
Washing your ass in the sink is unsanitary. I don’t need shit particles in my sink bowl. I much rather just hop in the shower after a shit and wash my ass with body wash after I’m done wiping. If you have a detachable showerhead, it’s easy to do so without getting your whole body wet.
My bidet is like a pressure washer seriously, it has quite a bit of pressure, enough to make it pretty unpleasant if I crank it up on high.
Yeah, it’s not soap but I’m not using my ass to eat, I’m just trying to get all the shit off of it so I don’t get weird ass-rot and hemorrhoids.
Mine was about $30 on sale and it increased my quality of life in ways that are hard to describe. Shitting at work is a lot worse now, I feel like a barbarian sitting around with a dirty ass all day.
On the other hand, your ass has no secrets now. Every fart is an announcement. You took the muffler away.
Dude my superpower is that diarrhea comes out as filtered drinking water.
How can I delete someone else’s post?
First person I ever followed here
Nevermind I don’t know how to follow peolle
Nikls: “Stop, you fiend!” Spez: “you’ll never stop me!” Nikls: -unzips, bends over…. Spez: O_O
What is this person’s diet like? I mean feces is supposed to be a somewhat solid log, not a splattery mess. I guess Cheetos and Mountain Dew three times a day does that?
You need to drink more water.
I guess I wanted to say fresh poop should have the consistency and texture of new Playdoh straight from the can. If you grab it and bend it slightly, small cracks should appear.
If there’s little moisture then it means your body is trying to get liquid from the stool.
Stool? Good luck making furniture from what I do… this afternoon I thought I gave birth to a jellyfish but when I looked it turned out it was just a bucket of blood.
I mean the worst is usually the one that is mostly solid but something fucked it just a bit and now its like 15% towards veing runny. Just solid enoigh to come out relatively in one piece but also soft enough to spread all over your ass.
Had one like rhat yesterday. Did not have plans to shower that day but alas I went straight from the shitter into the shower.
The comedian Daniel Sloss does a bit on this.
Was he the one who did the whole “like trying to get peanut butter out of carpet” bit?
Yes!
Alternatively, don’t be a shit poster. Did I take a wrong turn at Albuquerque?
Okay, here’s what you do. Just keep a small container of skin cream with you. when you are done your bisuness, apply a small amount to the toilet paper, and wipe until clean. it helps remove and moisturize at the same time. you would never need to but those non flushable wipes again.
I don’t think you understand. If I were to concoct a shitass story about being a shitass, and put that on the shitass interwebs, what would a shitass AI response look like? Respond as a shitass. Thanks.
Most teachers are women that do not need to worry about wiping a hairy ass. If school was taunt by men or nurses that wipe adult asses it would get mentioned.
Probably
What a bizzare thing to say. Plenty of women have hairy asses. And no, men wouldn’t teach this is they were the majority of teachers for the same reason women don’t - it’s not socially acceptable. The parents of the children would riot. Sex education is only taught because of how important it is, and it still makes a lot of parents uncomfortable.
Fair.
Just get a damn bidet. Life changing.
Take just it
I don’t know where they keep theirs. I’ll probably need to just get my own.
Check their toilets
Not all poops occur at home.
Travel bidet. I know of two co-workers who bring one to work daily. Think squeeze bottle with a long straw.
Edit: personally I’m not a fan, to be clear, but it’s possible.
I did this once
The feeling of sweaty aka slippery butt cheeks in summer while walking to class and worst of all climbing stairs was too much. And let’s not forget that farts have a to physically separate your cheeks to escape. Too much weird feeling.
Never again
Now I let my butthole grow some hair but keep it trimmed low because I’m not a heathen
I’m pretty sure this is where the term “butt trumpet” came from.
Just use some gold bond or other body powder. Problem solved. Thongs also solve the problem and are really quite comfortable once you’re used to them.
This is why three seashells are superior to TP.
Stop trying to push your BS Dr. Cocteau.
HAH! He doesn’t know what the seashells are for!
That moment when OP doesn’t know about the seashells (sremoveds in Rob Schneider)
All fun and games until you try and let a sneaky one rip in public
Wait 2 days, till it starts growing back.
I tried shaving my asshole but he ran away and never came back.
