My initial thought is video games, everything has pros and cons, sure. However, it feels like anyone not into video games views them extrodinarly negatively. Any other hobbies parallel to that in your opinion?
I sometimes look down on my own hobby: geocaching. It’s fun, gives a reason for doing hikes, leads you to interesting places, a lot of caches are awesome and creative. But somehow a lot of other cachers weird me out. If I meet others, I catch myself thinking more often than not “oh no, I enjoy the same hobby as those people? How uncool have I become?” 😂
Masturbation
Model train building can be considered a bit weird, but it’s one of the most wholesome and welcoming communities you can find.
Sometimes I visit the subreddit for it and am reminded of what that site used to be. Genuine engagement, people just happy to show things off and providing really in depth feedback or tips when asked.
Napping. Not everyone understands the fun that can be had.
The International cats federation extends its warmest greetings.
Warhammer 40K.
wait…
I remember video games having a helluva stigma when I was a kid in school. People mocked me for playing Pokemon. If you were to look at them now, they probably play it religiously.
That aside, I feel like tabletop miniatures get similar dislike. Some people are like “That’s cool” but the common layman just think it’s playing with expensive toys.
Video games were only lame when the business school people weren’t in control.
When was that? Like, the mainframe era? Pong was a commercial product.
It seems more like people intrinsically like it once they try it, and anything that becomes popular will become less stigmatised.
Gotta go back farther than the 80s to find a time when business school people weren’t in charge. A LOT farther.
FWIW Pong was the 70’s.
OK, that’s embarrassing… but my point still stands.
Masturbating in private.
I know it isn’t what you meant, but my head keeps putting the emphasis on the “in private” part, like everyone is fine with it in public, but those weird-o’s doing it in private are disgusting.
weird-o’s
Why is there an hyphen here? o.O
I dunno, it seemed like the right place for it. Surely it isn’t just spelled ‘weirdo’, right?
I think thats a whole thing somewhere in San Diego
Toys collecting. Especially dolls and or stuffed animals.
When a guy collects Pokémon figures, that’s fine and cool.
However when I like to buy myself Bratz dolls and Hello Kitty stuff and cute plushies, I’m told I am childish and I need to grow up🙄😒
Plushies rock.
Both things are uncool
Yeah, I feel like a massive Pokemon figurine collection would put a guy in the nerd/kidult basket as well. Of course, people should just mind their own business and let others do what they like.
Oh yeah no, I totally wear the kidult label with pride.
You will rarely ever see me without any emotion support plushie in tote
That’s just your opinion 😊
I don’t care about being cool. I collect childhood things because they make me happy.
I mean, you do you. I only talked about it because you posted about it. I’m very much “w/e none of my business” about that kind of stuff irl
Mushroom hunting; most people think the only mushrooms you find in the woods are magic or poisonous
Depends if you know what you’re doing. If so, cool hobby! If not, rip your liver and kidneys.
One of my mates goes with his wife and kids to forage for morel mushrooms, it’s a big family activity and they love it.
I haven’t tried Morel mushrooms though, would like to give them a go with what he has said about them (we are separated by ocean or I would ask him, at the right time of year).Morels are hard to mistake for any other kind. And they are a hoot to search for! It’s like going for a walk and finding treasure!
“Most people” where? Online or in your social circle? I have never heard this from anyone, not even online.
You’re saying that if you told the average person you’re going mushroom hunting, they wouldnt give you the side eye of implication? I’d definitely tend to agree with the original comment.
Yes pretty much, it’s a quite common fall activity here. Mostly families or seniors doing it, and I’ve never directly talked to someone about it, but I don’t think anyone would honestly think about poisoness or magic mushrooms (maybe jokingly ask about it).
Hmm. I’m guessing not North America?
Wow that’s pretty surprising, it’s definitely not common here.
You’re saying that if you told the average person you’re going mushroom hunting, they wouldnt give you the side eye of implication? I’d definitely tend to agree with the original comment.
I live in the stereotypical part of the US which is all soulless suburbs and people taking kids to school in SUVs. Most people don’t think about food unless they buy it at the grocery and I am a bit of a black sheep where I live for even having a garden
Ugh. Lots of things about living in a rural area are shit, but that’s one things that’s genuinely much better. Although there’s still food taboos about certain plants, like dandelions.
My first thought was gaming as well. The hobby isn’t problematic, but god damn are so many gamers themselves the problem.
Idk man, “gamers”?
Violent / aggressive / unkind people? Yea. If it happens for them to be gamers, that’s probably unrelated.
It’s not “gamers” the same way it’s not “black people”, the same way it’s not “women”, the same way it’s not… Idk, you get it…
Talking to yourself
So long as you’re not arguing, its a non issue.
So long as you’re not arguing, its a non issue.
Well… Shit.
Off to therapy I suppose.
Is it an argument if only one voice disagrees?
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BDSM
Like fully a third of the population is into it, but the stigma is so strong that the IRL community is tiny and weird.
Hard disagree on the IRL community being tiny and weird. Probably the most welcoming environment I’ve ever seen, where consent is the de facto standard.
Were talking BDSM, not swingers. 😭
Yeah, but how much drama and weird cliquishness is there? And it’s just not large; you tend to run into the same people a lot even in a major city.
Big time agree
Not really looked down on, but every time I mention that I have an indoor greenhouse everyone assumes I’m growing pot.
I see that you didn’t say that you weren’t growing pot
Yes, but it’s still rude of us to assume that.
It is polite to pretend that we would grow something else, if we had a greenhouse.
(Edit: this is sarcasm. I think iIt’s really only awkward because the laws for growers are shit.)
Only rude if you think it’s rude. Growing your own drugs is, in fact, smart and powerful.
Yes. Sorry, untagged sarcasm. I’ll update.
Even when I say I’m growing strawberries, people think I’m growing cannabis.
I mean, I’m not growing strawberries and most definitely growing cannabis, however it’s the insinuation!Is your ganja good, though?
Asking the important questions.
Isn’t a greenhouse by definition indoors?
It could be a glass building outdoors instead.
Yes, and that makes the plants in a greenhouse indoors. Or is an “indoor greenhouse” just a greenhouse placed inside larger house?
The greenhouse itself is not indoors.
Of course not, a greenhouse needs to be exposed to the sun. I think people are looking for “out building” and “attached building”.
And if you have houseplants, is your house then an indoor greenhouse?
No, my house is definitely outdoors.
That’s the definition I’d normally use, the greenhouse is the space the plants are kept in and if that space is inside a building it’s an indoor greenhouse, if it’s an independent structure it’s an outdoor greenhouse.
Not really looked down on
You mean near universally championed as cool?
How much are your electric costs for the greenhouse per month?
Drawing fetishist NSFW art. A friend of mine was (and probably still is, I just haven’t had any contact with them for ages) pretty good at drawing. If you’re into hentai and/or furry stuff, there’s a non-zero chance you’ve seen his work. He also did some more “exotic” drawings on commission.
He (allegedly) wasn’t particularly into it himself, but he was good at it, he had a creative outlet, and it gave him a couple of extra bucks per month.
Apparently there are quite a few art majors who turn their “useless” art degree into a living by making hentai, especially furry stuff.
The only visual art that is truly appreciated as it should
I’d go one further and say kink itself!
Sure it’s not for everyone… But people act like it’s some crazy abomination, when most of the time it’s just some variation of sex + roleplay.
I had a friend of a friend who is a bona fide Dom. She was particularly wealthy considering the reputation of the sex trade. Her practice catered to Financial District and C-Suite types who could afford her services. She told me these powerful people invariably develop a kink where they want to be dominated and humiliated as a “grass is always greener on the other side” reaction to their usual position of power and dominance. What blew my mind is that she said sexual release during sessions was a minority. Most got that at home from trophy spouses. They craved the psychology of bondage, domination and humiliation. Clientele included women too.
Humans are weird and wonderful.
A lot of people who lead a lot need to not be in that dynamic. People are very often sexually the opposite of their daytime personalities.
As a woman very involved in the lifestyle scene (as opposed to the professional scene). Yeah, there’s a lot of reasons people wind up into it, and what your friend describes is the cliche stereotype of the person who pays for pros, but a lot of the lifestylers are similar to a lesser degree.
And yeah it’s not a given that you’re even allowed to have sexual release in a kink event, and sometimes it has to be in a specific room. The sensations, the mind games, the role play, the pain, etc. is often the primary thing happening to the exclusion of other stuff. A surprising amount of bdsm events are just discussion groups and classes.
Thanks for sharing. Can you characterize the people beyond the cliché I spoke of? Is it everyone from all walks of life or do certain people gravitate to it. It makes no sense to me and I don’t know anyone other than this friend of a friend.
It’s definitely skewed towards neurodivergent people, but not exclusively.
Lots of trauma on both sides of the slash (ie both in dominants and submissives). Reenacting a variant of how it felt to be bullied or yelled at/hit by your parents or even so far as reenacting sexual violence done to you within a safe space where you can end it at any time is remarkably healing, and it’s easy to from there just fall in love with all of it. And on the dominant side that can be a form of taking control back in your life. A friend of mine got into being a Domme at her second husband’s request, but she fell in love with it because it returned to her the feeling of control that her abusive first husband had stolen from her.
Sensory seeking behaviors are super common in the bondage scene and the sadomasochism scene.
For people with social difficulties the extent to which everything is negotiated and clearly communicated is really refreshing, and then since there’s so much neurodivergence things like flat affects, saying stupid shit without thinking, etc is generally understood and not mistreated.
There’s also just generally a hippie/weirdo/alternative vibe to the community. You’ll meet reiki practitioners and you’ll see arguments over whether fire cupping actually does anything besides bruising the hell out of a back by people who do it for fun and generally agree that bruising the hell out of a back can make it feel better outside the bruising because of endorphins and distraction. Oh also a hell of a lot of nonmonogamy.
I’m sure there’s more if I think of it. Ultimately, you have to be a bit weird to take the moves from “i think this is hot in theory or in erotica” or “we do this in our bedroom” to “I’m interested in going to a discussion group/class/social event/play party about this in person where I live”. The first event is terrifying to actually walk into. And then it’s another big step to actually go to enough that people remember who you are or to get involved in a more community focused side of the scene like the leather community
People like you make the world a better place
I try, fortunately I believe making the world weirder makes it better
I’ve heard this stereotype before of “powerful people want to be dommed.” But I feel like I need more compelling evidence. My null hypothesis is that power accumulated in real life either corresponds to or has no relation to the desire for power in a sexually charged space. However, the “powerful people wanna be dommed” trope persists because:
- It’s memorable for the dom/me, so they are more likely to remember these instances and talk about them later.
- It appeals to some kind of sense of “cosmic fairness”.
- We never hear about poor people hiring professional dommes. Why? Because they are expensive. Thus, most domme clientele will be wealthier.
- We never hear about wealthy people hiring submissives. Why? Because they have no problem finding submissives in their lives more than willing to “work” for free.
All good points. I really don’t know. I was only relaying what I remember from what a pro told me over drinks at a party. It is fair to say that she was speaking about her wealthy clientele, not the BDSM cohort as a whole.
The convo actually came up because we were lamenting the price of quality leather goods. One was talking about a leather couch he bought and was sick of various bonded leather garbage and the dearth of quality leather goods. Another was talking about bridle/saddle leather, and another was talking about gunbelt/holster and leather jackets. This piqued her interest and she jumped into the convo because high end leather is a big big part of her business and the cost of her operations. Once she shared what she did, everyone was fascinated and she was the belle of the ball so to speak. She was reluctant to reveal her business at first because she was nervous about how a party full of squares would react. We all loved her. She was sweet, funny and very very smart, even in a party with a bunch of scientists.
She really knew her leather, and even suggested custom leather shops that could help us all out. Turns out a lot of family run bespoke leather crafters that do horse tack and similar goods, also do bdsm gear. Leatherwork is leatherwork I guess. There is a LOT of money rolling around in there for the few who cater to elite markets.
I don’t presume to have a handle on the bdsm disaspora, and I recognize I got a small peek through a straw that night.
I suppose that’s possible, but I feel like I’ve talked to a lot of people in the kink space who developed their particular interests from a young pre-pubescent age, before they were even really sexually aware. A shocking number of kinksters will tell you that they feel that their fascination came “preinstalled”. 😅
This makes sense to me in the context of the story I relayed. Executives tend to draw mostly from a pool of high functioning psychopaths. That is preinstalled. So presumably the kink would be too.
I’m reasonably vanilla myself, but I know that if I liked something “weird”, people judging me for it wouldn’t help anyone, least of all myself.
I’ve known a few furries over the years, and while I don’t understand it, being in the periphery of the community numbed me enough to “weirder” stuff. They’re not hurting anyone (well, other than their wallets. Do you have any idea how much a pursuit costs? Jfc…), so I don’t see why they’re not any less deserving of acceptance than people who prefer ass over tits, etc.
You know how sometimes if you put a superhero mask on and you feel goofier and/or more confident?
Now imagine you’re an awkward shy person and/or neurodivergent and you spent a lot of growing up being an absolute gremlin or pomp inside your mind but having to forcibly behave like everybody else or be ridiculed. Behaving, paying active close attention to others and their reactions and movements, and acting appropriately… This is called masking.
Notice the similarities?
Now, apply cartoon personified animal characteristics to yourself while literally wearing a suit/whole outfit. What characteristics, you ask? The ones that you enjoy, feel the best, and you feel fit you the best.
That’s oversimplified furries. They’re party superheroes and it helps them be their chosen selves.
(I am not a furry. This is my impression and current level of understanding from an entirely outside perspective. If I’m wrong, please feel more than free to correct me, I’d love to know.)
In my experience with kink communities, shame can really do a number on people’s psychology. It feels like there are always two camps of people: the ones who simply learn to say “fuck it” and embrace their weird side, and those who really become very depressed and self-isolating because they’re made to feel like an aberration. That level of internal conflict, where you spend your entire life fighting against your own (otherwise legally and ethically non-problematic) desires due to internalized shame is a dark and dangerous path.
And like… I get it. To an outsider, any kink that you don’t have can definitely seem weird, gross, undesirable, etc. But then again, even vanilla sex acts can seem gross when you imagine other people doing them. Still, I think a lot of people in the kink space end up struggling with negative feelings about themselves.
Plus, there are a certain group of very puritanical and judgemental people who desperately want to describe (without any psychiatric qualifications) any behavior they don’t understand as being “mental illness”, but ironically, I think the most mentally healthy thing any kinky person can do is simply to accept and embrace their kink.
My message to any kinky people out there is to do whatever you can to accept yourself. Unless your kink involves something that is seriously dangerous to yourself and others, or otherwise legally or ethically dubious, then odds are that the best thing that you can do is just come to terms with being, as Rick James said, a “superfreak”.
Maybe that’s why I’m so OK with people with non-default sexual preferences: I’m pretty weird myself, I just happen to be reasonably mainstream in terms of sexuality.
Pretty much anything that’s considered “childish”. Apart from video games, Lego comes to mind.
Lego is a great one, good answer.
Lego comes to mind.
Yes. I’ve found that an open positive comment about Lego can create a sudden mini community of adults who don’t get to talk about their Lego habit often enough.
Anecdotally, the raw data I have encountered seems to indicate that absolutely everyone who can afford any level of Lego habit, has a Lego habit.
I’ve met maybe two people who are too busy with their hardcore 10000 piece jigsaw puzzle habit to get into Lego.
I’m an adult who could afford it, but I don’t. Out of fear of being judged. :(
Aw. Sorry if you feel you are missing out.
Seeing a Lego set on display (or in pieces) has only ever raised my opinion of people.
Any children’s TV show, anyone who still watches My Little Pony as an adult is seen either as childish or as a creep (if male).
Because it is weird, to be honest. There’s no shame in watching children’s cartoons in general, but the problem is when people go out of their way to promote it. A lot of us don’t really need to know, especially those that go the extra mile to re-create their saturday morning routines down to wearing PJs and eating cereal to watch cartoons. If you’re going to put that out there, then you can’t expect people to not judge you a little over it or get a head tilt.
There are just somethings that should be reserved and enjoyed in private.
