This is basically the plot to Alien Earth.

Who asked for this? So much for user led design.

There are privacy preserving biometrics, as well as ways to determine age without breaching privacy or requiring identity, but you’re right none of the big platforms are using those methods.

I loved him in Home Movies as the bully.

Reading the article, the defendant requested his phone from a detective, unlocked it in front of and with the knowledge the detective was watching. Later when the detective was inspecting the phone, he used the password he had seen the defendant use previously to unlock the phone. So it’s not as bad as a cop forcing you to unlock the phone. Good to know that in New Jersey police departments are considered public spaces and treat them accordingly.

This is somehow more cringe than when Tim Cook waved the checkered flag at the Austin formula 1 race.