This chart is easier to understand if you make the following substitutions:

• Toy Lang --> high level language (except brainfuck really is a low level toy language)
• System Lang --> low level language
• Obsolete Lang --> old programming language, regardless of obsolescence status
• Nu Lang --> newer programming language

After understanding this construction, I fail to find any humor in this.

Why is ECMAScript here and not JavaScript?

Among other things, “JavaScript” is a trademark of Oracle.

Louisiana sheriffs are basically God within their parishes. There’s just no way to touch them, legally.

If I recall correctly, the photon sphere orbit is unstable, so there may not be a ton of photons there. “Unstable” in this sense means that photons in adjacent orbits tend to diverge away from the photon sphere orbit rather than toward it.

For Schwarzchild holes, the lowest circular orbit for massive objects is at 3 event horizons, which is above the photon sphere. There are unstable circular orbits down to 2 horizons. Black hole rotation reduces this altitude for prograde orbits asymptotically down to 1 horizon.

My aunt did not like eating peas. And she hid them behind the refrigerator for more than a year.

Moral of the story: be glad it’s the underside of the table and not behind the refrigerator.

Truly a Solomonic decision.