I am interested in many other things, and tried to get hobby of some of them, and same thing happened every time. Game development happened to be the last thing i tried to get hobby of, and when i finally decided that i have to do something with me stopping doing progress on things i want to do.
I already though about it recently. I think i need to know if i am adhd, and do something with it if i am actually is.
I had the idea of a game i wanted to make for a long time, and after think about it, i knew most stuff and skills i had to learn to make it. Of course i didnt want to make it perfect at once. I wanted to make the most basic version of what seemed like this game, and throughout the time upgrading it where i think something is missing, or something can be done better.
Inspiration seems like a thing i am missing out on. Like i know what i want to do, i am just not inspired to actually do it.
The bad discipline is what really holding me back. I tried to fix it by various ways, but it all comes down to that nobody is watching me. If there is nobody to tell me that i am not doing what i have to do, i have no iniciative to follow alarms, schedules and other stuff, because nothing bad happens when i dont.
What you are saying about of torturing myself when i do stuff which is not fun, this is not exactly what you understand. There is boring and repetitive stuff which i really did not like doing. But most stuff i personnaly tried to get into is fun. Its just my laziness which overcomes the fun, and i dont know how to get away from it.
This is why i dont have a hobby. Every time i tried to get a hobby, i just lost interest to things before i got an inspiration to contiune do what i want to do. Game development happened to be last thing i tried to get get hobby of, and when i finally decided to do something with me losing interest to potential hobbies.