Not sure if this goes here, but you ever wake up and wonder if your the bad guy in your life? even if you have done like nothing wrong.
Nope. Couldnt be me. Ive nevet been in the wrong ever in my life /jk jk
Are you kidding?! With the way the world has gone I have never felt more like a saint.
We all play in the villain in someone’s story…
I feel very bad for whoever considers me a villain in their story.
Like not to belittle them or their struggles, but uh… gestures to self just look at me…
I had a man point at me and angrily go “that’s her!” to his companion while passing me.
I work at a bakery and give this motherfucker a free roll and a decaf every day because he’s already on the street when I get there at 4 and he needs to eat. We didn’t have decaf that morning, so I just gave him a roll, because I don’t know why he drinks decaf and I’m not trying to give him a heart attack. He thought it was aggressive of me.
O’Brien. You are an excellent officer, husband and father. A true credit to the Federation.
I think these thoughts are healthy and necessary, and exactly the kind of thoughts I like to have in the shower. It’s great to, as you’re waking up, reflect on the day before with a little bit of distance.
We all fuck up. Sometimes it takes another person pointing it out for us to realize it and apologize. But I find apologies are even more meaningful when the wrongdoer realizes it and apologizes on their own.
If you’ve never asked yourself this question you’re doing it wrong
An unexamined life isn’t worth living. ~ So-Crates
Right and wrong are not absolutes. The world is not black and white. People of good conscience are always asking themselves if they did right and how could they have been better. Life is not a purity test. The “good people” aren’t without error, mistakes and regrets, sin. They just try overall to do more good for others and our systems than for themselves.
If you never ask yourself if you are a good person, you most likely aren’t.
I always tell people that about parenting. Generally, if you’re worried about not being a good enough parent, you probably are a good parent.
Counterpoint, if you question yourself whether your actions make you a “good person” you’re self aware enough to worry about being a" bad person"
if you were a “bad person,” you probably wouldn’t give a shit in the first place…
That’s not a counterpoint. It’s THE point.
I constantly feel as though I’m a bad person. It’s my Catholic upbringing haunting me, mixed with my anxiety. I try to remind myself that I’m not awful as I think I am.
It’s gotten better for me as I age. Just learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. Try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend having the same feelings.
Emotional Abuse will get you thinking all sorts of things about yourself, even when there isn’t anything to it.
Lemmy seems obsessed with “good people” and “bad people”.
People are complicated and full of nuance.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
Yes, there are exceptions but you don’t encounter them often enough to worry about.
I think it’s also important to realize that there’s a difference between being hurt and being wronged. Sometimes someone can do something that hurts you but isn’t wrong, morally, ethically, or legally. It might even be the right thing (ie, breaking up a relationship if it just isn’t working out). It might hurt you, but it didn’t wrong you. And then some people wrong you, such as committing crimes against you, being abusive, or shitty to you, and that’s not ok.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
Yes?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
People die from neglect. Should we not punish and rehabilitate those responsible despite whatever their intentions were?
I didnt say we shouldn’t punish people.
I am the one who knocks.
Yes. I’m a bad guy for YouTube because I block their ads and I’ll keep being the bad guy.
Oh I’ve done a lot wrong
It’s a thought process worth exploring, and one necessary for self-actualisation and prosocial living. It can’t be examined in an ideological vacuum though: what are your values and how and when have you gone against them? What’s the intensity and periodicity? Are you truly that far away from righteousness (and panicking a little bit in this case is warranted) or are you an overall “decent” person that needs to uhh round out their corners?
I answered that question with a yes a few times, and eventually quit my job over it. Much happier now. Self-reflection is good and worth it.
When I discovered that I am autistic, and probably have ADHD, I realised that I really had been the weird bad guy all my life.
I discovered it when I was an adult. But in my case it was the opposite, it was a “oh… so I wasn’t the bad guy, I was just being weird to them and they were being dicks about it”.
I discovered it when I was an adult
Me too, only a year or so ago. I’m 58
