Note: I haven’t yet. The following text is not an answer, and might not be worth reading. (Chance: approx. 95%)
Scary wall of text, in the spoiler you go.
Issues
So far i only faced this threat twice (in high school), but managed to avoid it.
- First, I was selected for Erasmus+ international exchange program. But I couldn’t get the answer on how many people per room there would be nor whether there would be shared showers and toilets (like one large per building bathroom).
The school’s psychologist then called me into her office to ask whether I would be capable of socializing with others, and to re-think it, as our group would have to do everything together in representative manner, so I just noped out. - Secondly, we went to some national competition, and were destined to stay at dormitory for 1 night. When I found that out, I said I rather won’t go. When I answered why, I was told that they would arrange for me to have a single room, so that was fine. I just stayed inside there all the time, enjoying my solitude.
At home I live with parents. I don’t have my own room, but subsidize for it with WC (separate from bathroom). Since there’s no power outlets, I’ll take 2 power banks, laptop, USB fan, phone, earphones, and stay there for most of the day.
Unfortunately, I may not find any such alone space over there.
Eating near others is also not quite easy. Usually I’d just wait for the lunchroom to empty, and then go there. Empty table near wall, with adjacent empty tables (excl. diagonally behind). Sometimes this would mean I wouldn’t get to eat, or be late for class, but that wasn’t a problem for me.
At home I just wait until my parents finish.
I can’t stand seeing others, being seen, and hearing others’ chewing if I am to eat.
Stuff to bring
I kinda like to be always ready. My biggest concern is electronics. What all do I bring? Should I take the mini PC with me, or leave it at home with WWAN modem, and use it over Tailscale?
Should I bring RTL-SDR with me, or leave it at home with the remote mini PC and only take RSP1 clone with me?
Which WiFi router to bring? Reliable one, or the one with Wireguard that restarts every 15 minutes and bootloops eventually?
Do I take both laptops for redundancy, or just the usual ThinkPad?
If bringing my CD player, do I use disposable batteries, or also take the AA charger with me?
Do I take my DAB+ radio?
Do I bring the spool of wire that’s been useful for shortwave listening?
What about a printer? I’d only trust dot-matrix for moving around, but they’re expensive AF.
Hell, when I went to that competition, I even took Cisco 871W (SoHo-style) and Cisco 1802 (1RU) routers, although that was mostly as a joke (I did play around with them though).
You need professional help. How do you think your life is going to work, especially if your parents are gone?
Yeah OP. Having anxiety about meeting new people and/or living in a new place isn’t abnormal, a lot of people have it. But this is on another level. I really recommend seeking professional help, this doesn’t look like something internet strangers can meaningfully help you with.
How do you think your life is going to work, especially if your parents are gone?
Better?
I can work with people (and have a job), but not 24/7. My father is unemployed, so I am absolutely never alone. I just need some quiet place where I can be alone, with no expectation of someone walking in (i.e. lockable).
Ok, that sounds better than what I could gather from the information you gave. I still think you could benefit from some professional help (as someone who did a few different times in my life). Best of luck!
The solution to social phobia isn’t to design your life around avoiding people. It’s fine if you prefer to spend time alone, but it’s important to be able to tolerate even the experiences you dislike the most. I might feel great suffering when I have to do math, but it’s important that I’m able to do some basic calculations when I have to.
It sounds like your aversion to being around people is causing some serious disruptions in important parts of your life, like eating meals. I promise that continuing to avoid people will not make the problem go away. I’m a big advocate for therapy. It might sound impossible to you since it involves talking to someone for extended periods of time, but therapists are there to listen without judgement, and to help you have an easier time in life.
Ummm… I showed up, said hello to my roommate, and went on with my life?
I have to say - it sounds like you need therapy to get over this phobia. Living in a college dorm with another person should be, at most, kind of annoying sometimes. It’s only a threat because you personally are thinking of it as a threat. There is no actual physical harm being threatened to your body or mind. Millions if not billions of people share rooms with other people all over the world every day. Think of it as an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow as a person.
- WiFi router may not work anyway, most schools shut off the lan ports, have captive portals and make you Mac register each device. VPNs may also not work, your mileage may vary. It is a public network, treat it as such.
- For 99% people, one laptop is fine. You may consider a laptop dock if you plan on using a secondary monitor/peripherals.
- For redundancy, I’d be more worried about data; have a backup drive and make it sync regularly to your school work folder. Don’t rely on solely on internet to store/access assignments, but the school’s provided cloud will be good as your 3rd “off site” backup.
- Rechargeable batteries will save you lots of money.
- there will be printers on campus. Most classes have digital turn in for assignments anyways. A laser printer should travel fine with some padding, maybe take out the toner drum and put that in a plastic bag just to be safe?
- everything else is personal preference, if you like the radio and other electronics, go for it. If you’re not really going to use them, leave them behind.
Few extra tips
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get a surge protector with a long cord, most schools don’t allow extension cords or power splitters.
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if your budget allows, an iPad/tablet can pay for it self with savings from digital book rentals; its nicer to read on than a laptop and renting a book for $20-70 for a few months (or otherwise digitally acquiring it) is a lot better than dealing with renting hard copies or being forced to buy them outright. (Though some require the codes, which complicates things). It’s also a more portable device than the laptop, which makes it great for simple note taking and accessing books in class.
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wire cube shelfs make great extra storage and a makeshift night stand. They breakdown and assemple really easy, making it easy to transport.
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bring some comfort items to make the space your own. Shouldn’t be any with high sentimental value, but a poster, favorite toy, a photo, a plant, or whatever else you like.
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finally. I encourage you to socialize a bit. If your first roommates don’t really vibe with you, you can select new ones for the following years. Unfortunately some people are just terrible. If your roommates suck, talk to the housing staff, they will first try to resolve issues and failing that can relocate you.
I decided to check their network rules, turns out I’ll just use mobile data.
“The member is obliged to provide access to their room and to their registered computer which is necessary to check for compliance with rules of the association. Failure to provide the necessary access when verifying a suspected violation of specific rules is considered confirmation of the given suspicion.”
Well, fuck that then.
Extension cords are explicitly allowed there.
For digital books I’ve been using the ThinkPad. It’s a 2-in-1 laptop, and honestly I don’t want anything else than such design at this point. It does not play nice with X11, but I had no issues with Wayland so far, at least under Plasma 6.
Yeah, everywhere that has kind of policy, but privacy isn’t exactly part of the school deal.
For the room, yes they can and will enter to check for illegal things and that your room isn’t a complete mess/heath hazard. They’re not supposed to search through your things, i.e opening drawers, closets etc.
It’s not a invasive search, its a quick check to make sure fire alarms haven’t been blocked, the drugs are put away and your not living in 3 years of trash somehow built up in 2 months.On the internet side of things, unless you’re torrenting, cheating on tests, accessing dark web or taking photos of people in the bathroom, no one will bother your laptop or phone.
Mobile data is better for privacy, but to maintain a hotspot may become impractical due to phone battery or costly long term. I guess try it out to see how it goes.
