[a gorilla waves and smiles at a kid, who’s running away in panic] THE WORLD IF Harambe wasn’t shot, and thus humanity wasn’t punished for its capital crime
[Hillary Clinton looks at her phone] Trump does not win the ensuing election, thus stalling the worldwide rise of fascism just long enough to reverse it “Ah, I see they did actually pokemon go to the polls!”
[a map of Azerbaijan covered in oil fields as Ilham Aliyev looks on smugly] Azerbaijan finds so much oil in its underground that they can outproduce the rest of the world, the entire planet begins acting strangely nice to them
[a generic representative of Israel and Palestine are shaking hands under their respective flags] With Likud ousted due to corruption and scandals, Israel and Palestine can negociate a proper peace deal including a right to return and removal of settlements, the world is in disbelief, nobody knows how close to disaster we were with Harambe
[a masked scientist gives the middle finger to a sad virus as Harambe looks on] Somewhere in a Chinese lab, a scientist studies COVID and finds a cure for it before it can escape and reach the public, Harambe smiles in the distance
[Ilham Aliyev is now looking unhappy at a map of Azebaijan full of missiles] As a peaceful humanity looks to unite against climate change and move away from fossil fuels, Azerbaijan sees the tides turning and builds nukes, lots of nukes, becomes the nuclear capital of the world, just in case peace goes too far…
[Putin pouts, arms crossed, at the end of a comically long table] Putin, the last major threat to global peace, is forced to abdicate by the UN once his plan to invade Ukraine is exposed to the world Humanity has come together, all thanks to its guardian angel Harambe
[Harambe and the sun are smiling, looking over a happy Earth covered in happy people] We did it! We achieved world peace and stopped climate change!
[the world is covered in flames and explosions as a sad Sun looks on] That’s when Azerbaijan, deprived of the fossil fuel market, decided to launch the nukes - nobody survived Thanks, Harambe…
Sounds like it’s time to nuke and pave Azerbaijan just in case we ever get the timeline back on track!!!